The only time people dislike gossip is when it’s about them. February 4, 2012

Everybody! Or rather, everybody who’s reading this. Which alas, probably doesn’t include C.S. Lewis, James Franco, or Alistair Begg. But y’all are awesome too! Never fear. 

 

I’m reading this book, it’s called “The Tipping Point.” It’s talking about how social epidemics get started, what makes crime rates decline, basically how big movements get to be big movements. It’s fascinating. Not only is it fascinating, but I enjoy it. You see, no matter how horrid the book, I still find it fascinating, I don’t know why. I read a horrid book earlier this week, and I am still thinking about the different ideas and concepts it provoked. 

 

Maybe that’s a grieving thing? I don’t know. I know that right before and after my Mom passed away, my sense of smell was insanely strong. Which is odd, because usually I have to be told by ten different people that the two year old needs a diaper change. Maybe it’s the same way with my brain. At any rate, I have so many discombobulated thoughts floating around in my brain, I thought I’d write! Zippitydoodah.

Back to The Tipping Point. (Have you ever been cow tipping? It’s on my bucket list.)

One of the things it talked about was people that are called Connectors. Basically like they sound, they’re very useful for networking and all that. Now, I don’t consider myself a networker, but I do consider myself to share many of the attributes of a Connector. A Connector is outgoing (check) knows a LOT of people (check) and is particularly proficient at small talk. (Check.) 

The book went on to talk about how Connectors don’t have many close friends, because they prefer to stick to the surface level with their acquaintances. 

 

Don’t get me wrong, I have close friends. Super close friends. Friends I would take a bullet for, and that I love to pieces. *counts* About 7, actually, which I consider to be a good number. But thinking about it made me realize, my friends are either intensely close, or pretty surface levely. There are a few exceptions, but for the most part this is the case. 

 

Why do you suppose that is? Is it merely my personality? I don’t think so. I propose this-there are any number of reasons that you might not become close friends with somebody. Incompatibility, not much time together, just never getting around to it, not making an effort, etc.

 

But I think a lot of times, it boils down to one thing: Distrust. Not necessarily distrust of that particular person, but distrust of humankind in general. 

That’s how it is for me, anyway. I’ve grown way too close to way too many people that ended up hurting me deeply, and I’m ashamed to say I’ve been on the other end of it as well. (Did I use to/too correctly in all those instances?)

 

Gossip, y’all. Gossip stinks. (Homeschooler word right there) And I don’t see it being addressed to the extents that it needs to be, by me, or by anybody. Don’t get me wrong, it is *not* my intention to point fingers here. I’m as guilty of gossip as anybody is, shamefully. That’s partially why I’m aware of the incredible problem it is. It’s so easy to say “Oh, did you hear about so and so?” followed by the eyebrow raise that says “I’m not saying it’s true or not, but maybe it is.” 

 

And people don’t talk about this. All that seems to get talked about is the need to dress modestly and act with pure conduct. Both important things, mind you. But is that it? Do we put on a long skirt and think we’re automatically holy? I know I have. But in my experience, the longer the skirt, the greater the doublesidedness of the person. 

 

Darby, (and anybody else reading this) modesty is important. Not giving people a reason to distrust you is just as important. Think about the times you’ve been on the receiving end. Think about how much it hurts. Don’t say something about somebody unless it needs to be said. And I mean really really needs to be said. 

Of overalls, mud, and beauty. January 27, 2012

My childhood was incredible. I can’t even imagine how it could have been any happier. I frolicked, for lack of a better word. (That one makes me sound somewhat…hmm. Like a lamb?) 

I had a best friend, too. I still have him, we just don’t get to spend every second together anymore. My brother and I traipsed through the woods 24/6, getting holes in our jeans, digging holes, trying to reach water because we had read a story about a missionary in Africa who had done this. (Okay, we were also weird kids.) 

I read. My goodness, did I read. Virtually every classic I come across now, I remember it in a haze, because I read it when I couldn’t even touch the floor with my feet from the pew. This always aggravated me, and was probably my biggest life worry. When would I be big and tall? Every book I came across, I loved as though it were my child. If it was a sad story, I cried, but I almost took pleasure in my sadness, because it was of such a beautiful sort. 

I rode my bike down our driveway every day to wait patiently for the mailman. He laughed at me every time he saw me, in an affectionate sort of way. I imagine I was somewhat of a sight, between the mud and the hair bows that Mom always made me wear. When there was mail for me, it was better than Christmas.

I remember the first time somebody told me I was beautiful. I had been running around outside on Sunday night, with my friends from church. This was a weekly occurrence, after Bible study on Sunday night, the old people would sit around and talk about recipes and philosophy, and we fortunate young ones would play Freeze Tag in the dark, getting stitches in our sides and remaining hopelessly out of breath. 

 

I came inside from one such excursion, and my dad’s best friend said to me “Darby, you look more beautiful than anybody in a magazine.” I didn’t understand. My braids were falling out, I was covered in mud, I wasn’t wearing any shoes, my cheeks were red,I was missing more than a few teeth,  and my glasses were fogged up. Why did he say that? Didn’t he understand what beautiful meant? Beautiful meant those ladies that wore high heels and lipstick and smelled pretty.

 

Now I understand. Beauty is joy. Unbridled, infectious joy. I strive every day to take that away from my childhood. Things change, I change, life reveals new and different things every day, but I never want to lose sight of this truth. Every day I wake up and pray and hope that I can try to get back to that beauty that I exhibited on that day, so many years ago. Some days it’s easy, some days it’s nigh impossible. But the more I realize how much I have been given, the more naturally it flows. I hope that I remain as a child in this way for always. 

What I’ve Learned December 31, 2011

So. The year 2011 is winding down to a close, and I thought it would be a good idea to be excessively cliche and write about what nuggets of wisdom I have gleaned over the past year. Without further ado, I shall proceed. *ahem* *clears throat* 

 

1. Ron Paul eats babies. While he brews marijuana (okay, confession time. I have no idea how marijuana is packaged, processed, or used. So that was probably a bad illustration. Moving on.) and knits swastika doilies.

2. Wanna-be hipsters hang out at Starbucks. Bona fide hipsters don’t, because they don’t drink coffee, that’s what the proletarian masses are for. If you are on a hipster hunt, check the nearest store that sells V-necks. Pro tip.

 

3. If you want to become famous, write a song about a day of the week. Wednesday would be a good choice, although more things rhyme with Friday. Make an equally absurd music video, and the laudatory praises of all around you will be echoing in your ears for years to come. With a few death threats possibly mixed in.

 

4. There are people actually out there (Sheltered children, hide your eyes, for my desire is to protect you) who think that the Princess Bride is, *cringe* silly. INCONCEIVABLE! This is somewhat akin to hating puppies, or rainbows, or even butterflies. You have my permission to hate unicorns, as they are somewhat prone to effeminacy and stabbing people in the liver. But leave my beloved story alone, or I shall have at you.

 

5.All you need to do is have a catchy slogan about ninety-nine and percent and power to the people, and you can pee in the streets of New York for months, all while demanding that those who have the decency to practice common hygiene should pay for your college education.

 

6. When you make meatloaf, it is important to know what you are doing. Unless you would like to go through three smoke detector batteries in a single day, burn through seven pot-holders, have the fire department banging on the door trying to rescue you, and land yourself on the front page of the Orange County Times. Complete with pictures of your singed epidermis. 

 

7. If you want the greatest pick-up line in history, be the guy that killed Bin Laden. Pretty sure all the girls in America would want a piece of that. But “Do you have a library card, because I’m checking you out!” is one that I am also partial to. (too? Argh, grammar are confusing.)

 

8. Raw milk is full of poison and bacteria and HARMFUL THINGZ. You would be much better off eating a Big Mac while driving around on your little wheelchair scooter thing, and feeling proud of yourself because you didn’t buy a McFlurry. 

 

9. Freedom of speech is a beautiful and treasured aspect of what it means to be an American. Unless you are white, male, Christian, or an athlete. So basically you can say whatever you want on television, including profanities, but Tim Tebow had better keep to himself. 

 

10.Vuvezelas.  The number one cause of migraines since their inception. Seriously, do those things have a purpose other than that? 

 

Okay, so those are some of the facetious and sarcastic things I learned, now it’s time for the real deal.  

 

1.In times of great tragedy, the Christian community comes together in wonderful ways, I can attest to this first hand, having been blessed immensely by everything that has been done for my family in the past year. Incredible.

 

2. Christian music that isn’t synthesized and a shoddy version of pop music is, in fact, possible. Primary example-Mumford and Sons. Beauty is one of God’s greatest gifts, and when we strive for beauty over coolness, we can make something that He would truly be proud of.

 

3. My Daddy taught me something very profound, when I was frustrated with someone who was far more conservative than I in certain areas, to the point of legalism, from my perception. He said “Darlin’, don’t pick on people to the right of us. They already have enough people to the left of us that are happy to tear them to shreds. Leave them alone, and be grateful that they have strong convictions.”

 

4. And my Mom taught me a multitude of things, but the main one was this-Always be looking for ways to serve others, even when you should, by all counts, be the one being served.

 

5. Romance novels (even the lightweight, Christian ones) can be just as damaging to girls as pornography is to guys. They breed discontentment, especially when you begin to wonder why your man doesn’t bring you home flowers every day, draw you a bath, give you a massage, whisper sweet platitudes in your ear, and sparkle, kind of like Edward McHandsomepants.

 

6. Modesty goes two ways. We are both responsible for our actions, the women for how we dress, and the men for how they look at us. It is not a one sided issue on either end. I’ve seen both ends focused on too strongly by themselves, when I think it is most definitely something that both genders are responsible for.

 

7. The friends that will do whatever is best for you even if it’s what they don’t want, or what is hard for you, are the true friends. The honest friends are the best ones. 

 

8. Prayer and reading the Scriptures are simultaneously calming and convicting to me like never before. Maybe because 2011 has been the most frazzled year of my existence, which also makes it easy to excuse sin. A quick dip into the Psalms is vastly comforting, and reading a chapter of Proverbs or three will quickly remind me of my shortcomings and sins, all while never forgetting God’s amazing grace.

 

9. Read more. Read, read, read. I found my attention span markedly decreasing for a while, and wondered why, till I thankfully made the connection between that and the various electronic devices that are available for my amusement. One of my biggest and most daunting goals for 2012 is to read two books a week. (Aside from school, which has me reading 22 a semester or so as well.) 

 

10. Relax. If you have the choice between cleaning the kitchen and having a tickle fight with the two year old, always pick the latter. He won’t always be two, and the dishes can wait. Deep breaths, ask what really matters, and don’t forget to laugh every once in a while. It’s good for your heart.

 

There you have it! I learned so much this year, by God’s grace and for His glory. I can’t wait to see what 2012 has to offer, as I walk down the path before me with my family and friends. God bless all of you, and Happy New Year! (Or Prosit Neujahr, as I like to say. Random foreign phrases are my schtick. Erin Go Bragh!)

So long, farewell December 27, 2011

 

I don’t like goodbyes. I would say I hate them, but teenage girls are far to prone to use the word hate when they don’t really mean it, as Rachel Lynde would say. And yet, I find myself often in situations where they are called for. I have been blessed in that I have traveled all over the country, attending various events and functions and making friends in the randomest of places. But the functions end, the 15 passenger vans get revved up, and everybody goes back home at some point. Hugs and email addresses are exchanged, with earnest promises to stay in touch. Goodbyes come as well, though I prefer to replace them with “See you soon.” I’ll see you soon, friend, whether it be at the next function, or at your wedding, or on the other side of heaven, I promise.

We come home, we put away all the books we found at the conference, we write the occasional email, and for the most part, we don’t keep in touch as well as we intended. We find ourselves wishing we had more time with our friends in real life, and it can be very easy to be discontented. After all, if only we could see each other more often, it wouldn’t be so easy to forget.

I said goodbye to someone dearer than anybody else in the world recently. Goodbye for a long time. Goodbye till I see her again in heaven. The last thing I told her was “I love you, and I’ll see you soon.” We’re all headed to the same place, friends, isn’t that immensely comforting? Keep that in mind when you’re lonely. We’ll all be together again, and I’ll see you all soon. I’m so very very excited.

Be the change you wish to see in the world (aka-Gandhi had some insight sometimes) June 7, 2011

Many of you know that I am not a huge fan of R.J. Rushdoony. (How’s that for a controversial opening statement?) Granted, the primary reason for my not running around like an emotional screaming teenage girl every time his name is mentioned is because I don’t scream. Ever. But the serious reasons I’ve never been his number one fan are-I am always wary of theologians that everybody reveres SO very highly that it often seems they take his words for the gospel. Also, I am not a fan of presuppositional apologetics, but that’s another story for another time.

I attended a worldview conference last week, and at the book table they were giving away free copies of a certain book. If you know me at all, I never pass up anything free,since I’m Scottish, and least of all when it’s a book. So I picked up a copy of this thin devotional, and lo and behold, it’s authored by Mr. Rushdoony.

“Oh!” I thought to myself. “I should probably read more of him, I certainly don’t *dis*like the man, or his theology, I respect him,and I think he’s done great things for the kingdom of God. So I will read this, and pray it will help me grow in grace.”

Wow. Let me tell you, I read the first devotional, and I’m still thinking about it and considering it, a week later. Enough that I’m writing a blog post about it, as you can see.

It talked about “the ultimate sin.” You’d think that it would be murder, or something that our culture reveres as serious, relativistic tendencies aside.

No ma’am/sir, not hardly.  “Basic to the ultimate sin is the desire to reform others and to conform them to our ideas and hopes.” Wow. We Reformed people, especially, are guilty of this, are we not? If we could only get the Emergents to stop wearing skinny jeans and hipster glasses, we’ll change the world. If only we could get the Charismatics to stop waving their hands all over the place, we will see the return of Christendom in America. If only, if only, if only we could change everybody *else*, everything will be groovy.
I don’t think so. God calls us to first and foremost change *ourselves.* At the end of the day, who are you responsible for? You. Your sins, your actions, your every thought,word,and deed.

Certainly, we should be bold to proclaim the gospel to others, but when I look at myself I see a profound desire to focus on everybody’s problems before I look to my own heart. That’s not a positive thing.

Change begins from within, my friend. When you begin acting with patience,joy,and love, you will see those around you react in kind.

Currently Reading-My Cousin Rachael, The Birth of the Modern

Currently Rocking Out To:The Rising of the Moon-The High Kings

Because those who mind don’t matter? April 11, 2011

If you’re like me, you have friends of various degree. There are the people you met at a homeschool conference, you know that you both share a love for reading and learning and education and other learningful things, but you don’t really have deep conversations. Then there are the people you know slightly better-the people that know you like C.S. Lewis and rain and hate mushrooms, the people that you see fairly frequently, but you aren’t what you would call close.

Then, my personal favorite, the close friends category. The friends that laugh with you daily, the ones that provide a shoulder to cry on, the ones that know you better than you know yourself,the ones that know that the REASON you like C.S. Lewis so much is because your daddy used to read him to you when you were little.

 

One of my favorite quotes (introduced by a dear friend) used to be:

“Be yourself, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”~Dr. Seuss

 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about acceptance. I don’t want to be close to a person who thinks I’m a retard because I sing in the shower, jump in puddles, make funny faces, and dance spontaneously.

 

But! My reason for writing, is that I realized that God doesn’t call us to “be ourselves.” He calls us to put off the old man, and put on the new one. Constantly reforming and becoming more like Jesus.

 

I don’t know about you, but if my friends see me engaging in sin, or even in something rather unwise, I want them to be bold enough to confront me about it. I don’t want people who accept my sins. I want people who accept my idiosyncrasies,  but not my faults. People who know that I laugh at the littlest things, but also know that I have a tendency to be overly silly, and warn me to guard against it.

 

Are your friends iron sharpeners, or do you have them around because they make you feel comfortable?

Je vous remercie de votre attention….. March 16, 2011

If you’re like me, (and I have a feeling you are, most humans are disingenuously similar) you don’t tend to think of yourself as an ungrateful person. You realize, deep down inside, that you are thankful to God for what He has given you.

Yet when was the last time you complained about something being unfair? When was the last time you tried to level the playing field?

Or when was the last time you verbally told someone how greatly you appreciate their friendship? When was the last time you thanked the dry cleaner for ruining your dress, because it helps you practice patience and forgiveness?

 

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it
is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

~ William Arthur Ward

Thank God profusely and superlatively. And let that also flow forth in your every day conversations.

 

P.S. Thank you for reading. *smile*

Someone ate my last cookie….. February 1, 2011

We’ve all been cut off in traffic. Okay, after reading my last couple of posts, I talk about driving an awful lot,when I don’t do it as often as I should. Maybe I’m trying to sound grownup…..in which case I probably shouldn’t have just confessed that in reality I spend very little time behind the wheel. That’s a purpose of blogging though,right? Getting everything off of your chest?

 

As I was saying…..traffic issues.  Or someone bumping into us while we’re holding hot coffee, and we end up scalding ourselves and ruining our favorite shirt. (Speaking hypothetically here, you understand. I’m not bitter….not at all.) Or even someone forgetting to call us back, ruining something we lent them, speaking ungraciously, making a mess in our room…..(again, I’m not bitter. Honest.)

 

And we,being good pious Christians, after giving this person a piece of our mind, forgive,hug,happy happy,smile smile, sparkles and joy. Because that’s what Christians do-we forgive.

 

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”~Colossians 3:13

 

That last part of the verse interests me the most.  “As the Lord forgave you.”

Do you realize how much the Lord has forgiven me for? I nailed Him to the cross. I sin against Him in every second of the day, when He demands a holy and righteous people, I give him sin and filth.

And yet He in His grace has saved me, forgiven me, and loves me. No matter what. Even when I cut somebody off in traffic, or speak unkindly.

It’s not so hard to forgive somebody for something like that. It even helps us validate ourselves. “Oh, look, I just forgave someone. I must be a good person.”

But what about when it goes deeper than that? What if someone hurt you unimaginably deeply? What if they’re *gasp* not even repentant? What if you have scars from what they did that will never go away?

That’s where the “As the Lord forgave you” part comes in, my friends. You and I have been forgiven SO much. I’m not saying it’s easy, in fact, I know it’s not. But we need to forgive those around us that sin against us, whether it’s a pin prick or a 3 inch deep scar.

 

And we will find unimaginable joy and gladness in that forgiveness. It will be glorious.

Throwing in the Towel January 19, 2011

I really don’t want to write this post. I don’t know what I’m going to say. I feel like every time I post I should be super encouraging,wise, and just have the general “Wow” factor. And I’m afraid to try. The only time I ever roll over and write one is when one of my friends (You know who you are) bugs me to write, or when one of my parents does the same. (Everybody knows who you are )

It’s not that I don’t like writing, it’s that I feel inadequate, and am afraid of failure.

I got upset the other day when I was out driving, because I did something extremely dumb. And my Dad reminded me,”Everybody gets upset when they don’t do things well. But that doesn’t mean you quit.”

Throwing in the towel. Getting back on the horse after you fall off. Never give up. You get the idea.

Apathy and fear go hand in hand. We either don’t care enough about fixing what’s wrong with the world, with our relationships, and with ourselves, or we don’t *try* because we’re afraid.

Be motivated to go and sin no more,and do so in courage, knowing that God is on your side. What can man do to you?

 

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.~2 Corinthians 4:8-11

 

 

On Resolutions,Goals,and Confetti January 13, 2011

Happy 2011!

*confetti* (See, I told you I’d have some )

 

I don’t know about you, but I always have a very long list of New Year’s “resolutions.” Things I want to accomplish in the next year, goals I want to achieve, ways I can spiritually mature, celebrities I can make cheese sculptures of…..(maybe not that last one)

To quote Jamie  from “The Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler”-”Make it complicated, Claudia. I like complications.” I do too. My list of goals for 2011 is about 3 pages long, not including the footnotes about what constitutes a “marshmallow addiction.”

But maybe I shouldn’t like complications. Our God’s teachings are simple. You shall love Him with all your heart,mind,soul,and strength, and thy neighbor as thyself. 16 words. Not even a quarter of the first sentence of our new health care bill.

Granted, there are a lot of sub-headers under this commandment, it’s a big blanket covering a lot of things. All the same, it’s terribly simple.

So my new New Year’s resolution is to abide by this verse:

 

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.~Romans 12:10

 

So simple, yet so much depth. That’s what I’ll be working on.  That includes putting away pride,greed,selfishness,slander,impatience,discontentment, and any number of other sins. I pray that God will continue the work He is doing in me, and I pray the same for all my dear readers. <3